Puddle Jump
by Zarius
Summary: It's the year 2029, and two scientists try to get a grip with new technology, but can anyone keep a grip on Squawk where the occupants of the twisty 'verse is concerned? (based off a prompt by bravekid)


**DANGER MOUSE:**

**PUDDLE JUMP**

**WRITTEN BY ZARIUS**

**(Based on ideas by bravekid)**

* * *

**Author's Note:** This story is a 5% parody of the climax of the BBC/HBO television drama "_Years and Years_" by Russell T. Davies. As such, if you have not seen it and wish to, be mindful that this parody piece contains spoilers for the final episode.

* * *

Squawk had seen it all, and now others could see that too.

Every passing second of weeks, months and years she had lived, looping back and forth through her mind and projected onto several consoles in front of her and to her right and left hand sides.

"Let us know when we get there" said one of the doctors as the process continued.

"Oh I think you might have to go back a little further" said Squawk.

The Doctors, an Aardvark named Maru and a deer called Fielding, gave Squawk rather cross looks.

"You're supposed to keep us in check Professor. We can't afford to scale back too much; your bio rhythms will become far too erratic and you'll suffer a seizure"

"She likes to live dangerously" said a nimble looking hamster seated next to them, his legs crossed, one hand on his lap.

Squawk winked at him.

"There's an image coming up, this might be what we're looking for" Fielding said, punching in a few key sequences and locking on to the image Squawk was projecting.

The screen was lit up with the features of an eye patched crow in a sleek black and silver jumpsuit.

"Is that Stiletto? Baron Greenback's henchman?" said Fielding.

"Sort of" Squawk replied

"He's Danger Crow, not Stiletto" the hamster replied.

"They're capable of working out things themselves Penfold" replied Squawk.

"We've established a narrative conduit, excellent, we'll enter the next stage and track the overall landscape of the map from there" said Maru.

"Careful now" advised Squawk. Penfold giggled.

"What should be mindful of exactly?" asked Fielding.

"Memories are a bit like the multiverse, they're all puddles on a stormy day, and you're atop a skyscraper, dancing in the rain. You have to navigate those puddles, tread on them carefully, the deeper the puddle, the slimmer your chances are of d chance you get drenched, or even flooded"

"We'll be as careful as we can, this process is so new, it's taken us a decade to develop it...now, at the turn of 2020, we reckon we have enough information in our banks to house an infinite amount of knowledge on our existing universe, now we have to see if it can store as much on alternative reality pathways" detailed Fielding.

"I like the way you don't actually know if it'll work" said Squawk.

"You needn't worry, the Professor has faith in you" said Penfold.

"So, what's the story behind this 'Danger Crow'?" asked Maru.

"He came to our headquarters around ten years ago from the twisty 'verse with his partner, Danger Toad" Squawk confirmed, another image appearing on the screens of a toad wearing what appeared to be two eye patches and a white and grey pinstriped suit holding a cane with a monkey's paw attached to it.

"Don't let the eye patches fool you, they're a night mask to help him sleep better, and he prefers not to take them off because the missions tend to keep him on his feet. He's one tireless agent" Penfold replied.

"The two revealed that Penfold's counterpart, Silas Von Penfold, had hidden a weapon on our Earth, a device that could emit a specific signal which trigger heightened bouts of incompetence, voter's remorse, and delusion of stature in an individual, commonly found in X-Factor contestants and Brexit voters. It's believed he wanted to seize control of people's minds and calmly persuade them to vote in a politician he had selected from the twisty 'verse" Squawk explained.

Maru and Fielding remained fascinated.

"They wanted Penfold to go and find it"

"Do you have any memories of how far he progressed on that end?"

"I stayed behind, though in hindsight I should have tagged along, knowing who he met"

"We're in luck then" said Maru, bringing the apparatus up to speed and continuing to monitor Squawk's vitals.

"Think of her as an echo of who I was when I was younger, only allowed to grow, to spread her harpies' wings and fly, soaring across the oceans, only to turn away from the sun and plunge deeper into the abyss, deeper and deeper she'd go, in amongst the uncaged voices, bringing them together under a wave of false promises, false starts, red flags, that was the woman who Penfold wished to have govern this country"

"Vitals are becoming erratic, we best pull her back" advised Fielding.

Maru was determined to get to the truth.

"Who is this person?"

"The only woman who could find the weapon was Silas Von Penfold's wife, Baroness Squawkencluck"

"She's more annoyed she got married ahead of her" said Penfold.

"It really should be you up here you know, you're the one who had to convince her you were her husband and coax the location of the weapon out of her"

"Did you succeed?" asked Maru.

"She's in jail now isn't she?" said Penfold.

"We're not sure about that. I've heard the stories. She got away"

"That was just Agency chatter" said Penfold.

"We never did find out, but I've got my instincts, and I trust them Penfold, she's not altogether that different from me, like I said, she's my echo, she's the pain in my voice, and she can hear my cries for justice"

"Yeah, she_ really_ didn't like how far I went to get the necessary information"

"But she wasn't there, how would she know?"

"I tell stories"

"I bet you do" said Fielding.

"We can't have you up there even if we want you to, the Professor is the one that has the eyewitness account of the dimensional tunnels opening on that day, and Danger Mouse tells us all your memory can store is the contents of yesterday's fridge"

"If you can find a way to make my memories sentient, to store them on molecules of water and ultimately send them electronically through a dimensional pathway, I know exactly where I'd want them to go...they will become a sprite, a spirit, they will enter that machine, they will jump across every puddle on those concrete floors, and they will track down that woman...and when they do..."

The readings went haywire, the water thanks behind Squawk shattered, the screens went blank, and the computers shut down.

"Well, success one minute, failure the next, I'll think better not to ask family around next time we conduct this experiment" said Fielding.

"Oh it'll work one day, it was working just now, but you got a taste of what memories are capable of, their rage, and envy, they're love. That's what we're all becoming. Love. We are love" Squawk said as she leapt off the examination table.

Fielding turned to Penfold.

"And what of you Penfold? Are you ever going to tell her the precise details of your interactions with Baroness Squawkencluck?"

"Maybe when I'm braver, I'd rather not be on the receiving end of whatever she deems love fit to be"

"Hate to make you jump my favourite Pen" said Squawk.

"Do try not to make such a splash next time my favourite puddle" said Penfold.


End file.
